10 February 2017

Interval time



I may or may not have mentioned that I aim to catch up on my evidently not-missed albums of the year lists. Because compulsion dictates a tag-based view make chronological sense, I shan't cheat and start with the albums of 2016.

I'm going to cast my mind back to those halcyon days of 2011 and attempt to invoke in this decrepit 36 year old self the thoughts and feelings of me aged 31. Clearly, I can't avoid a level of hindsight (or nostalgia), but I'll try to make it as honest as possible.

Because I am catching up on writing, the blurbs for each record will probably be longer than for previous albums in a year countdowns: I hope you'll forgive that (and indeed this) indulgence. I just wanted to explain what I am doing before otherwise anachronistic writing started appearing.

While you wait, please do spend some time reading about Mark Fisher, aka k-punk.  He was a most excellent writer, on blog and otherwise, and I this morning found out that he passed away a few weeks ago.  Chalk that down to my being out of the loop. Here's his blog. I've not actually read his books, but I will do. It's upsettingly funny how motivating a factor death can be.


Just being reminded of him makes me want to improve my writing, certainly the intellectual level. As my mum would say: "'I want' never gets". Let's see if I can be an exception to that rule, hey. Just please come back to me after reading k-punk...

06 February 2017

Australian Open 2017



You may have guessed that it's been a while since I last wrote about tennis. I'm sure a lot has gone on since then. Let's see...


  • David Nalbandian retired. And then cheated death. Why did I focus on his shitness back in 2008? Why am I leading with him now? No idea. 
  • Novak Djokovic went from one major title to 12. He won 11 majors in the gap between my tennis blogging! That's obscene. 
  • Andy Murray even won some stuff. Three majors and two Olympic titles. Including two Wimbledons. That's not bad at all. Almost as many majors as Jim Courier! And he's currently number 1 in the world. Fair play. 
  • Makiri Watch: I... think she retired? She got to top 10 in 2013, which is pretty great. She had a baby in 2015, and doesn't seem to have played since. I should pick another plucky underdog to watch. Any ideas?
  • Tipsarevic Watch: He's still rocking! Yes. Just outside the top 100 from a high of top 10, but he's still in the mix! Sort of. But hey, he was 686 in may 2016. At 32, I don't see him going too much longer, either. Ad he's not been as far as a major fourth round since January 2013. Dang. This is what happens when my support of these players drops off!


And, just after that previous blog, we bore witness to the greatest tennis match I've ever seen. I'm not even kidding. Thanks to rain stoppages, Federer and Nadal played for seven hours, on and off (4:48 actual play time). Nadal won this epic encounter 6–4, 6–4, 6–7(5–7), 6–7(8–10), 9–7. 

As you can see, though it was super close, Nadal's sets were won by breaking, rather than tie breakers (my memory ain't what it used to be, so there may have been broken serves in those middle sets; they weren't deciding).

Since then, Roger got very old, and Nadal got very knackered. Djokovic and Murray became the undisputed top two (Novak arguably the top one, out on his own, until his motivation seemed to evaporate, halfway through 2016: Murray caught a stalled Djokovic in the rankings, rather than the two battling tooth and nail for supremacy).

So we get to the first major of an intriguing 2017 season. Novak was the first of the biggies to exit, doing so in round 2, against Denis Istomin. Weirdly, that was his earliest exit at a major since the last time I wrote about tennis on this blog. Spooky! Istomin, to his credit, didn't immediately implode, going out in the fourth round to the sort-of-great Grigor Dimitrov.

Clearly that made Murray the favourite (though he was number one seed going into this, Djokovic's history at the event is fucking miles better). He capitalised on this by doing an Istomin, and getting kicked out in the fourth round, at the hands of Misha Zverev (who also eliminated John Isner).

Though the field still contained loads of dudes who were pretty young and very dynamic, they all got beaten by the quietly resurgent crafty veterans: Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer. Well, damn.

On the way to the final, Rafa put out Gaël Monfils, Wimbledon finalist Milos Raonic and Grigor Dimitrov (Monfils and Raonic being seeded higher than Rafa); Roger eliminated the higher-seeded Tomáš Berdych, Kei Nishikori and Stan Wawrinka.

The final was the first either man has had in, let's say ages. 2013 for Federer, I think. Nadal won the French in 2014. They had gone from pretty much meeting in every final (Nadal usually winning) to barely featuring. It had seemed the sport was passing them by. Sure, they got a lucky draw with other players eliminating the top two seeds, but they personally accounted for 3, 4, 5, 6, 9 (that was Nadal himself) and 10. That's a pretty good indicator that they still have a lot left.

As you'll know, Federer won it in five sets: 6–4, 3–6, 6–1, 3–6, 6–3. It was weirdly back-and-forth, as you can see. Federer looked super sharp in the first. It looked like Nadal had his number, reducing his unforced errors in the second set, but Roger thrashed Rafa in the third. It was mad. To be honest, though, it didn't end up feeling very close. Federer's stronger serve meant he often aced his way our of trouble, and won very comfortable games on serve, while Nadal scrapped for everything, as he always has.

While I wanted Nadal to win, if anyone were to top him in the final, I am happy Federer was the one to do it. I'm pretty intrigued as to whether this was a blip in the grand scheme of things, a last hurrah, or whether it will inspire the pair to more greatness this season.

31 January 2017

UFC on Fox 23


As with every other topic on this beloved planet, I've not written about the fights in a while. If memory serves me correctly, there was a half-finished article about Anderson Silva being an annoying showboat, in his phase of clowning dudes who he felt beneath him. For five rounds. Without knocking them out. You tell 'em, Anderson! Anyway, that was at last a decade ago, and he went on to be better than ever, then lose two calamitous title fights to Chris "Default Setting on Create-a-Character" Weidman, snap his leg in two, and come back in a hilarious scrap with everyone's favourite crafty veteran, Nick Diaz, only for both to fail drugs tests. Not long ago, then.

Every time a massive fight card came along (and let's face it - I've hibernated for the rises and falls of GSP, Lesnar, Rousey and the genesis of Conor MacGregor. But it's all good. I've returned in time for... *checks info* err, UFC on Fox 23! Right? Right. 

So, what do we have here. Main event was Valentina Shevchenko, who I assume is no relation to Andriy (she was born in Kyrgyzstan rather than Ukraine) facing off against Julianna Peña. Julianna Peña, I have to say, was a bit of a dick in the pre-fight promotion. I don't know if she was trying to channel Conor Mac, hates Valentina or just wanted to rouse some enthusiasm in the card, but she was rather arrogantly telling us in detail exactly how - and how brutally - she was going to beat up Shevchenko. If you're a UFC vet like me, you'll remember the most amusing time someone predicted such a win. Yeah, drink that in for a moment. 

While this wasn't as amusing, Shevchenko made Peña eat her words by tapping her out to a second round arm bar. What made this more satisfying was the perception among many that Shevchenko was merely a kickboxer, and if the wrestler Peña would be able to take the Kyrgyz down, she'd use her superior grappling skills to earn either a ground and pound stoppage or a submission of her own. 

Not only did Shevchenko win in the grappling, but she also got the better of the takedowns, earning some smooth trips in the clinch. At the times Peña managed to get top position, her striking was neutralised and she only succeeded in passing her arm to her opponent, who quite gladly hyperextended it. 

That led to an awkward post-fight confrontation where Sheva started out addressing current champ Amanda Nunes (wearing quite the most unfortunate hairdo - pictured) with respect, but soon degenerated into wince-inducing second-language trash talk. 

Also hapless on this night was hometown boy (this show was held in Denver, where he grew up) Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone. I like Cerrone: he seems like a sound bloke, he likes to fight regularly, and he gets up to all kinds of adrenaline-fuelled extreme sports in his spare time. He's also a lightweight who has been enjoying a lot of success at welter, having recently beaten such stalwarts as Rick "Horror" Story and Matt "Matt Brown" Brown.  

Until this past weekend, that is. Jorge Masvidal has also been making a name for himself in the welterweight class, though perhaps Ross Pearson and Jake Ellenberger aren't quite as impressive mounted heads on one's wall as Story and Brown. 

Maybe with this in mind, Masdival set about really doing a number on Cerrone. While "Cowboy" usually likes to take the centre of the Octagon and dictate the pace, Masvidal took him out of his comfort zone by peppering him with combos, walking him down and generally being a tad quicker to the punch. Saved by the bell in the first round after being floored and swarmed, Cerrone made his exit quite early in the second, after Masvidal followed another knockdown with some pretty brutal body work. Well done Jorge. 

I suppose I had better mention my favourite heavyweight mixed martial artist ever: Andrei Arlovski. This eastern European wasn't quite as fortunate as Shevchenko, as he got quite quickly despatched by the younger, bigger Francis Ngannou, from Cameroon. Andrei apparently said he wouldn't have picked Ngannou to have a scrap with, were it up to him, and you can see why. Arlovski tends to do well when opponents try to match his finesse; if he can stick and move, he has enough cumulative power to get the win. However, his chin isn't the best, so if he gets clocked by a quick-punching banger, he won't really be able to deal with it. 

And so it was in Denver. Ngannou gets a big scalp in his search for the title, and Arlovski's future is somewhat in doubt, aged 37 and having come out on the wrong end of his last four tilts. Andrei had a nice comeback in 2014-15, after everyone had written him off, so he's shown veteran presence. Maybe now is the time he'll finally hang up the fang-shaped gum-shield. 

28 January 2017

Iron Monkey are apparently back



If you're anything like me (hope for your sake that you are not), you'll be very emotionally attached to late 1990s heavy music. Therefore, if you are anything like me, you will be alarmed when you receive a press release email informing you that Iron Monkey have signed to Relapse Records.

Relapse is not the issue: they are a fine record label for the heavy metal. No, the alarm was about the band. Iron Monkey are the stuff of underground legend. Formed in 1994, they release amazing stuff in 1997and 1998. Especially 1998. Our Problem was just perfectly brutal, catchy, evil genius. They split in late 1999, released a few songs on a split EP after '98. A few years after that, their amazing vocalist, Johnny Morrow, tragically died. Way before his time.

They were the band that I always told my friends would never reunite. They couldn't.

They have.

So, what the fuck? Well, according to the press release (by now unquestioningly regurgitated across the net by the mindless drones that pass for metal websites), they are a trio. Only member of the proper line up in this one is Jim Rushby, one of the two awesome guitarists. He's also now doing vocals, apparently. You also have Steve Watson who was actually in the original line up, but I always heard they fired him because he didn't know who Grief was. They also have a dude from Chaos UK in the band. I'm sure Steve is very cool now. A lot can happen in two decades.

It's a little surprising, is all. They were always very punk rock. New bands had new names because they weren't the old band, so it's surprising to see this marketed as Iron Monkey. Maybe Jim loves the idea dearly, and wants to do justice. Maybe Relapse said they would only sign his new band if he called them Iron Monkey. Nostalgia sells, as does their awesome logo. Maybe I'd be less concerned if Justin Greaves or Doug Dalziel was in the band. I know Justin has his own things now anyway. It's none of my business. But I'm intrigued.

Maybe it'll be great. They're old and pissed off and Rushby has amazing riffs in him. But you know.

Read this for some background on the band (and some songs). It's very interesting, and will probably upset you about how awful Earache Records are.

30 December 2015

I'm writing stuff

I swear I am. I think the last three years of this site have seen more posts about how I need to write or am writing than actual content. So yeah, soz. But I swear, I am writing stuff. I want to do an albums of 2015 post (even if I have only really been listening to Def Leppard and Iron Maiden, from this year). but before I do, I have some catching up to do. My last "albums of..." was 2010, so I need to get that backlog cleared; I want this tag to be chronologically logical. So yeah, watch out for 2011 and 2012, pretty imminently.

I promise...

27 January 2015

I need to bloody write something! But you knew that anyway. So, when I tested the iPad app, a post or so ago, the photo of course failed to upload. I have stuff to say, and I do actually have the occasional thought. Bu, judging by this blog, you'd think I'm vacant, psychologically desolate. And maybe I am. But I do have things to say.

So I'm going to put my thoughts here, instead of talking to friends, colleagues, strangers and junk. I don't think any of those people really listen, let alone remember, my bombs of knowledge as they drop remorselessly from the fighter jet that is my... I don't know where I'm going with that. Anyway, I can log things here for posterity! Like everyone else on the internet does with their poxy blog. So there you go.
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